Today we wish a happy 70th birthday to Chuck Norris. Yes, you read that right. It's been said that though Jesus walked on water, Chuck Norris swam through land. Of course, as a follower of Jesus himself, Chuck knows that's not true. But here's to our septuagenarian, cowboy boot-shod brother in Christ Chuck Norris on his birthday. Chuck, I'm not 100% on board with your politics, but the fact that you can still perform a lethal roundhouse kick at your age is an inspiration to us all. Ladies in my church's craft class, if you're reading this, now you know what I expect of you.